baby steps and comfort food

I’m working my way through my recent and very upsetting lack-of-enjoyment-with-cooking phase.

After talking with a few of you about this weird empty-nest phenomenon, I decided to start back with the basics.

I started with very simple foods. I also padded my bet by only cooking my favorite comfort foods.

My attitude really began to change the night that I was so bored with cooking that my dinner consisted of a glass of wine, cheese and crackers. My attitude was “Screw it. I can survive on wine and cheese and crackers. Who needs to cook when I can get everything I need using a cork screw and a cheese cutter?”

Well, that was all good…for the majority of the night. I went to bed with a good book ready for a good night’s sleep until the stomach started to growl….and moan…and then scream for food. Kent was already asleep when I got out of bed and he asked where I was going. I was just slightly embarrassed when I told him “I’m going to make some macaroni and cheese with hotdogs in it.”

The most basic of comfort foods: macaroni and cheese with hotdogs. It was delicious. It made me thoroughly happy and it reinforced that I could still cook something that tasted wonderful.

And so it began. The next night: tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. YUM!

At this point I also decided that I want to stay away from processed foods as much as I can (except when the occasional urge for Kraft Mac and Cheese with hotdogs hits me).

So, this week I made eggplant parmigiana. The eggplant was from the farmers market. I dipped it in eggs and then flour, panko, and seasonings and browned it to perfection. I cooked homemade spaghetti sauce from my home-canned tomatoes and flavored it with my frozen homemade pesto. I layered it all with some mozzarella and baked it until it looked like a picture out of a magazine. It was FABULOUS! (Too bad, so sad for Kent that he doesn’t like eggplant…it just left more for ME!)

Tonight was some simple boneless pork ribs grilled with some awesome BBQ sauce that we bought at a great little restaurant on Grand Ave in St. Paul. I then baked a buttercup squash (another purchase from the farmer’s market) with some butter and brown sugar. Again….pure perfection.

I think I’m getting my cooking groove back. I’ve missed it.

Relationships

Is it just me, or is it human nature?

Why does it sometimes take something bad to happen to make me take stock of the many blessings in my life?

I really try to be grateful for the blessings in my life every day. But I admit, sometimes I get bogged down with my ‘troubles’ and focus only on the bad things.

When I hear about some incredibly painful relationship problems that happen to those I know, my heart goes out to them. My prayers go out to them. And then I take stock of the wonderful...absolutely wonderful...relationships that I have in my life.

My husband: really, there isn’t a more caring, thoughtful man out there that I know of. Sure, we may all give him crap because of his endless pursuit to make us laugh,but a more loyal, kind man you can’t find anywhere. I think it has been his example (by how he treats me) that has taught Lindsay and Brian what to seek in a loving relationship.

My kids: I thank God for my relationship with them every day. There are so many people out there that aren’t on speaking terms with their kids. There are so many people out there that really don’t enjoy spending time with their kids. I cherish every moment I have with them and every email or little text I get from them. They’re both really good people. I’m so incredibly proud of both of them. What I love is that they are so very different from each other, yet they are both such independent, mature, creative, loving adults.

My parents: Wow. What inspirations they are to me! They live every day to the fullest. I know so many people their age (and younger) that just take the easy way out and sit around every day. My parents travel all over the place and when they are home, they volunteer at the mayo clinic and their church, they take lengthy daily walks, play golf, stay active in quilting and various other hobbies. And to top it off they still love me and treat me like I’m the most special person on earth.

My friends: This is another one of those instances, that it took something to slap me up-side the head before I appreciated my true friends. My definition of a true friend: someone that will stand by you through anything, not judge you for stupid things you may say or do, will give you space if space is what you need yet wait patiently for you to come back when you are ready, they always have your back and would never put you down in order to lift themselves up. I am blessed by my true friends.

My God: I can’t talk about my relationships without mentioning Him. We’ve got a good God. Even though we may stray He is always there for us. Always. Always.

My relationships are the most important things in my life. I am truly thankful for them.

I’m not going to wait anymore to be ‘slapped up-side the head’ by hearing of other's relationship struggles before I take time to appreciate the many wonderful people in my life.

I am blessed. No doubt about it.

take it from me

Never.

Ever.

Never Ever.

NEVER EVER SCHEDULE A DENTIST APPOINTMENT ON FRIDAY THE 13TH!

That's all I have to say.

PING!!!!

One of my favorite sounds.

PING!!!!

It's the sound I hear at random times after I've been canning. It's the sound the lids make after the filled-with-yumminess-jars have been processed. PING!!!! means the jar has officially sealed and will safely sit down on our "Sams shelves" for well over a year until we open it and taste its yumminess.

Today: 14 pints of salsa. It's just the beginning...

Deeeeeeeep thoughts in the garden

I spent a few hours in the garden today. Working in the garden is very therapeutic for me.

One of my best friends has shared with me that they are feeling overwhelmed with life lately. I was thinking about this while I walked out to my big flower garden that has been overwhelmed with weeds due to all of our rain and hot weather. Now, I’m not talking about my beloved Johnny Jump Ups “weeds” …I’m talking about the ugly, prickly, suck-the-life-out-of-everything-else weeds.





I have a feeling that my friend is feeling about the same way that this garden looks. The ugliness of the weeds has taken over the beauty of the little things in their life. It’s a ‘hot mess’ as the cooler people amongst us like to say.





I’ve been feeling a bit out-of-sorts and overwhelmed myself lately. I’ve been thinking of myself as a victim. I hate that feeling. That means I’m putting more importance on the ugly things or mean-spirited people in my life than I should be. I’m not focusing on the beauty in my life and all of the people that are truly important to me.

With every ugly weed I pulled out by the roots, I felt a little more in control. With every bunch of ugliness that I yanked out and flung to the side, I felt less like a victim.

As I continued sweating and pulling and digging out the ugliness, I started once again to notice the beauty in the garden. Given their own space, my flowers are beautiful.

Once my attitude started being adjusted I started enjoying the beauty again and my mind began to wander.

- I noticed how wonderful my catmint smelled when I pulled long blades of quack grass from it. I thought of my friend Donna who gave me a small bunch of it from her garden many years ago.





This cat mint has brought beauty into my garden for probably over 8 years. We don’t live close to each other but the beauty of our friendship is that even if we don’t see each other more than twice a year, we still get together and talk like we saw each other yesterday. We still trust each other to be there.

- I remembered how my friend Peg gave me the bee balm and pink mums a couple of years back. They come back strong every year.



Even though our friendship may have taken a break for a few years for whatever reason, we’re still good friends. I treasure her friendship. Like these pink flowers, she keeps coming back as my friend.

- I saw this little beauty underneath some 3 foot high big bold plants. See it under there?



I didn’t plant this little thing. It just appeared. But I couldn’t ignore its simple, quiet, whispering beauty.



I know a person like this. She is surrounded by bold people that tend to overshadow her. But when you focus on her…and her alone…she has a quiet beauty that runs very deep. I don’t want to gloss over people like that.

- I ran across this flower that is done for the season. He’s kinda ugly right now.




But I won’t pull him up because I trust his beauty will be back at another time. I thought about a relationship with a person that has been tense for a number of years. It too was kinda ugly. But we never ended our relationship. I think maybe we both trusted that the beauty would return. This summer our relationship did take a turn for the better. I will take special care with this relationship so it can bloom again.

- And then I ran into this Mo-Fo...I can say words like that now...both my kids are over 21....heehee.



This guy wouldn’t budge when I was trying to yank him out. He stood tall and proud and I nearly landed on my ass when he finally let loose. I thought about some people that are like this weed in my life. They’re not my friends, they're not my family, I didn’t plant them in my life, they’re just there. I allow them to hurt and upset me. I need to yank this type out of my cares. I can’t let them hide the beauty of the other relationships that I am blessed with. So take THAT ya dumb weed! You don’t qualify to get any more of my attention.

See what I mean by therapeutic? I yank out the unnecessary ugliness and I focus on the beauty.

Sigh….

I feel much better now.

a summer favorite

A slice of whole grain bread, fresh-picked tomatoes from my garden, some seasoned salt (Trader Joe's everyday seasoning that comes in its own grinder is really good)and a yummy kind of cheese.



Put it all under the broiler (in the appropriate order, of course) and YUM! A tomato and cheese sandwich! A favorite summer dinner of mine!

Now typically, I put the sliced tomato on the bread, sprinkle it with some seasoning and top it with cheddar cheese. But Brian suggested the shredded parmesan that we have in the fridge.



That was JUST as good as my usual cheddar variety. Kent then suggested the crumbled blue cheese we have in the fridge so I tried that too!



Really good, but I think the cheddar or shredded parmesan are better because of their saltiness.

I've tried fancying it up by adding meats and other vegies, but somethings are best left in their simplest form.

Okay, speaking of cooking, I really have to bring up the question that I've been pondering for a couple of years now.

What would make a woman suddenly lose her love of cooking? AND suddenly become a really crappy cook? I used to LOVE experimenting in the kitchen and the majority of the time my creations were GREAT!

I have to admit that my standard "the ingredients are changing not me" theory is flawed. There are still a lot of people making delicious food...so I hate admit that maybe it's the cook...and not the ingredients.

My other theory is that its just not as much fun to cook for two people as for an entire family. But then why do my dinners just not taste as good anymore when I AM cooking for the entire family?

I am in denial and still play the role of the good cook by exchanging recipes with friends and family....by subscribing to the Food Network magazine



...and by watching the Food Network....but DAMN...I still don't enjoy cooking meals and when I do, they're really not very tasty!

I just don't get it.

A reason for everything

Have you ever felt that you were meant to be in a certain place at a certain time and met someone that you felt you were supposed to meet?

Tonight that happened and I'm still kind of blown away by it. I grudgingly went to a kick off meeting for team leaders of the Steppin' Out in Pink Breast Cancer Research Fundraiser. I've been my company's team leader for the past 4 years, and really didn't feel that I needed to go to this meeting....but I went anyway.

Sandy came to the meeting because she wanted to learn how to get a team together. We were one of the first few there and she came up and introduced herself to me. She is a one year survivor of breast cancer. In the last year she has had a double masectomy and chemotherapy. She was proud of the fact that her hair was growing back and that she didn't have to wear a wig any more.

Our conversation continued. We sat down at a table together. There wasn't one moment of awkward silence in the conversation. We both thought the other looked familiar and decided we probably had seen each other at a church that we both used to attend.

It felt that we were old friends and needed to update each other on our lives...yet we had never actually met before.

We then hit on a subject and found out that because of our meeting, we may be able to some how help a person in her life that really is in desperate need of help.

A fluke meeting? Just happenstance?



No. Sandy and I were meant to meet. I have no doubt.