Deeeeeeeep thoughts in the garden

I spent a few hours in the garden today. Working in the garden is very therapeutic for me.

One of my best friends has shared with me that they are feeling overwhelmed with life lately. I was thinking about this while I walked out to my big flower garden that has been overwhelmed with weeds due to all of our rain and hot weather. Now, I’m not talking about my beloved Johnny Jump Ups “weeds” …I’m talking about the ugly, prickly, suck-the-life-out-of-everything-else weeds.





I have a feeling that my friend is feeling about the same way that this garden looks. The ugliness of the weeds has taken over the beauty of the little things in their life. It’s a ‘hot mess’ as the cooler people amongst us like to say.





I’ve been feeling a bit out-of-sorts and overwhelmed myself lately. I’ve been thinking of myself as a victim. I hate that feeling. That means I’m putting more importance on the ugly things or mean-spirited people in my life than I should be. I’m not focusing on the beauty in my life and all of the people that are truly important to me.

With every ugly weed I pulled out by the roots, I felt a little more in control. With every bunch of ugliness that I yanked out and flung to the side, I felt less like a victim.

As I continued sweating and pulling and digging out the ugliness, I started once again to notice the beauty in the garden. Given their own space, my flowers are beautiful.

Once my attitude started being adjusted I started enjoying the beauty again and my mind began to wander.

- I noticed how wonderful my catmint smelled when I pulled long blades of quack grass from it. I thought of my friend Donna who gave me a small bunch of it from her garden many years ago.





This cat mint has brought beauty into my garden for probably over 8 years. We don’t live close to each other but the beauty of our friendship is that even if we don’t see each other more than twice a year, we still get together and talk like we saw each other yesterday. We still trust each other to be there.

- I remembered how my friend Peg gave me the bee balm and pink mums a couple of years back. They come back strong every year.



Even though our friendship may have taken a break for a few years for whatever reason, we’re still good friends. I treasure her friendship. Like these pink flowers, she keeps coming back as my friend.

- I saw this little beauty underneath some 3 foot high big bold plants. See it under there?



I didn’t plant this little thing. It just appeared. But I couldn’t ignore its simple, quiet, whispering beauty.



I know a person like this. She is surrounded by bold people that tend to overshadow her. But when you focus on her…and her alone…she has a quiet beauty that runs very deep. I don’t want to gloss over people like that.

- I ran across this flower that is done for the season. He’s kinda ugly right now.




But I won’t pull him up because I trust his beauty will be back at another time. I thought about a relationship with a person that has been tense for a number of years. It too was kinda ugly. But we never ended our relationship. I think maybe we both trusted that the beauty would return. This summer our relationship did take a turn for the better. I will take special care with this relationship so it can bloom again.

- And then I ran into this Mo-Fo...I can say words like that now...both my kids are over 21....heehee.



This guy wouldn’t budge when I was trying to yank him out. He stood tall and proud and I nearly landed on my ass when he finally let loose. I thought about some people that are like this weed in my life. They’re not my friends, they're not my family, I didn’t plant them in my life, they’re just there. I allow them to hurt and upset me. I need to yank this type out of my cares. I can’t let them hide the beauty of the other relationships that I am blessed with. So take THAT ya dumb weed! You don’t qualify to get any more of my attention.

See what I mean by therapeutic? I yank out the unnecessary ugliness and I focus on the beauty.

Sigh….

I feel much better now.

a summer favorite

A slice of whole grain bread, fresh-picked tomatoes from my garden, some seasoned salt (Trader Joe's everyday seasoning that comes in its own grinder is really good)and a yummy kind of cheese.



Put it all under the broiler (in the appropriate order, of course) and YUM! A tomato and cheese sandwich! A favorite summer dinner of mine!

Now typically, I put the sliced tomato on the bread, sprinkle it with some seasoning and top it with cheddar cheese. But Brian suggested the shredded parmesan that we have in the fridge.



That was JUST as good as my usual cheddar variety. Kent then suggested the crumbled blue cheese we have in the fridge so I tried that too!



Really good, but I think the cheddar or shredded parmesan are better because of their saltiness.

I've tried fancying it up by adding meats and other vegies, but somethings are best left in their simplest form.

Okay, speaking of cooking, I really have to bring up the question that I've been pondering for a couple of years now.

What would make a woman suddenly lose her love of cooking? AND suddenly become a really crappy cook? I used to LOVE experimenting in the kitchen and the majority of the time my creations were GREAT!

I have to admit that my standard "the ingredients are changing not me" theory is flawed. There are still a lot of people making delicious food...so I hate admit that maybe it's the cook...and not the ingredients.

My other theory is that its just not as much fun to cook for two people as for an entire family. But then why do my dinners just not taste as good anymore when I AM cooking for the entire family?

I am in denial and still play the role of the good cook by exchanging recipes with friends and family....by subscribing to the Food Network magazine



...and by watching the Food Network....but DAMN...I still don't enjoy cooking meals and when I do, they're really not very tasty!

I just don't get it.

A reason for everything

Have you ever felt that you were meant to be in a certain place at a certain time and met someone that you felt you were supposed to meet?

Tonight that happened and I'm still kind of blown away by it. I grudgingly went to a kick off meeting for team leaders of the Steppin' Out in Pink Breast Cancer Research Fundraiser. I've been my company's team leader for the past 4 years, and really didn't feel that I needed to go to this meeting....but I went anyway.

Sandy came to the meeting because she wanted to learn how to get a team together. We were one of the first few there and she came up and introduced herself to me. She is a one year survivor of breast cancer. In the last year she has had a double masectomy and chemotherapy. She was proud of the fact that her hair was growing back and that she didn't have to wear a wig any more.

Our conversation continued. We sat down at a table together. There wasn't one moment of awkward silence in the conversation. We both thought the other looked familiar and decided we probably had seen each other at a church that we both used to attend.

It felt that we were old friends and needed to update each other on our lives...yet we had never actually met before.

We then hit on a subject and found out that because of our meeting, we may be able to some how help a person in her life that really is in desperate need of help.

A fluke meeting? Just happenstance?



No. Sandy and I were meant to meet. I have no doubt.

the continuing debate...seeds or seedless

SEEDED! Definitely seeded!!!




Sure, you have the nuisance of spitting out the seeds...or for those of us who are slightly more refined...picking out the seeds, but is there really any contest?

The old-fashioned seeded watermelon is definitely more flavorful and much sweeter. Why would anyone take a perfectly sweet delicious watermelon and mess it with it? That's just wrong! I guess this makes me a watermelon purist.

Anywho....tonight I cut into this watermelon with the usual concern about whether it will be a wonderfully sweet one, or a dud. You just never know until that first bite!

This one was DELICIOUS! AND FLAVORFUL!! AND SWEET!!!!

Is there anything better in the summer time? (Okay....getting a dozen ears of corn that are all amazingly delicious may rank right up there with the perfect watermelon.)

squishing mud through my toes

Tonight after supper I went out on the deck and saw an amazing storm headed our way. The sky was yellow/orange with fast-moving black clouds. Since it is a Sunday night (a night that I usually spend savoring some quiet moments before the start of the week), I decided to go to the front of the house on our little porch and watch the storm roll in.

It started off with the cliché “quiet before the storm.” Not a leaf on any tree was moving. The birds had even stopped their singing. It’s like Mother Nature was saying to herself “okay! Hold on to your hats! This is going to be a big one!” But the stillness only lasted about a minute…then we noticed the leaves started moving in the tree tops…. then everything was rocking and swaying.

The thunder and lightening were amazing but it wasn’t scare-you-out-of-your-socks thunder and lightening. The rain started coming down in huge drops and then it gave up on the huge drops and just started coming down in sheets.

The smell of the rain was delicious. It wasn’t the smell of worms that you smell after the storm, it was a fresh green sweet smell.

As the rain continued coming down in torrents, it was creating little rivers on both sides of the street.

And that’s when it happened…. a childhood memory literally swept me away in the current of these little rivers.

When I was about 5 years old we lived in West Chicago, Illinois. After summer storms, all of the neighbor kids would run outside and play in these little rivers along the sides of the streets. I distinctly remember the feeling of the warm rain water running over my feet.

Oh, but the part that I loved the very most was the mud at the bottom of these little rivers. Squishing that mud between my toes was the best feeling in my whole wide 5 year old world. It’s weird that I’m now 51 and my toes still tingle at the memory of the oooey-gooey mud slipping through them.

I looked around and didn’t see any neighbors out and about, so as soon as the rain stopped I went out to the street and stuck my feet in the little rivers created by the storm.

But my 51-year-old toes were sorely disappointed. When I was 5 years old, my street didn’t have perfectly planned curbs and drainage thingies that whisked the little rivers and puddles away almost as quickly as the storm made them. And of course there is no mud in the street I live on now. We have street cleaners that come by to sweep up any inkling of dirt.

So, my toes sat there in a tiny little trickle of water flowing over concrete.

If my toes could talk they would have said “what the hell?”

But even though my toes were disappointed, the rest of me thoroughly enjoyed the summer storm from beginning to end.

Leo Tolstoy

"In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you." -Leo Tolstoy

We watched an awesome movie tonight. It was "The Last Station." It was about the last year of Tolstoy's life.

His wife and him lived a life full of such passion. I'm not just talking about 'passionate' passion but passion in their beliefs, their doubts, their anger, and their love.

I think I might make an attempt at War and Peace and Anna Karenina.

a perfect deck night

Tonight’s night was well-earned and much-appreciated. It’s been rainy and soggy and humid for what seems like a month.

Brian went outside about 8:30 and yelled “Let’s turn off the air! It’s beautiful out!” I’m not a big lover of air conditioned air. Of course I appreciate it during the sauna days of summer, but man…it’s wonderful to turn it off after a few days!

So, Brian and I grabbed a glass of some yummy strawberry white merlot wine that my good friend Maria made, Kent grabbed a beer, Mags grabbed her favorite tennis ball and we went out on the deck! A PERFECT deck night!

I didn’t take a picture…didn’t want to waste a minute by running inside to grab the camera…but take my word for it…it was breath-taking! The clouds were pink and wispy. My garden is in full bloom. No mosquitoes. This is the kind of night I think about in mid-winter when there is 3 feet of snow on the deck.

Here…take a look at some of the beauty in my garden. I didn’t take these pictures tonight, but all of these flowers are still in full bloom.



sigh….



After 3 days of crazy manic long days at work, this is what I’ll remember as the highlight of my week.

Okay, mosquitoes eventually found us and decided to feast on us so we skidaddled inside. (I can make up words is I want to…It’s my blog.)

I’ve now got my bedroom window wide open and listening to the croaking of the frogs.

A very peaceful night.

Love love love

Some days you just need something to make you smile. And this video does it for me.




It's another smooth stone in my life.